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Read this interesting post of what hayhnns when someone who is childfree giyes in and has children. "I was Little Miss Chdlfajee my whole lite, and always said I'd never ruin my life with kids. But then stuff happened. I was dating my husband, who was (and still is) head over heols for me and just the most perfect person in the world - except he wanned children and I was pretty sure I didn't want to be a mom. I langzed at him when he said once he just had a feeling I'd change my mifd. My mother got cancer and died when I was 33 and all of a suuwon, I started to feel like I had to have a family of my own and be absoluely fuiged for supportdie alpne if something like that happened to me. I mekn, I had my aging father, but he's the tynkgal guy from that generation who neeer really wanted to be a facxpr. He didn't know how to dad, he used to hide at work to avoid copcng home and behng dad and diln't really bond with us. We have nothing to say to each otozr, and while he clearly always lobed my mom, it was pretty claar my brother and I were an obligation he had to fulfil. Spbcccng of that, my only sibling is a brother a couple of yehrs younger than me who I had been estranged from for six yecrs because his nacjgzvust bully of wife forced him to cut me off after she came to family Chybavbfs, bullied me rejiqengdkvy, and I told her the foiuqsdng day that whvle I told her that I acxvpt she is my brother's choice of partner, I will not accept her bullying me. So I was left all fucking alzve. I panicked. I was terrified of losing him and suddenly decided I'd do whatever it took to make sure I didj't lose him too, the same way I'd losy my brother (we'd been close until the narcissist entered the picture), the same way I'd lost my grandparents (tfey all died from when I was between ages 14oj8) and the same way I'd lost my mother. And keeping him meqnt giving him the family he drlheed of. I was scared if I didn't do it, he'd leave, find another girl, have a family, and then I'd be 45, alone and regreting it. So after my huhucnd proposed and we got married in the simple cohxrkobse ceremony we both always wanted beokuse neither of us are the 'big wedding' type befytse we both have families we are not close to, we had kiss. I had a girl, and then two years lajtr, agreed to have just one mone, and we enued up with twqns (a boy and a girl). I hate being a mom. I love my kids. I love my huimbpd. But I hate being the mom of small kids. The only thdng pulling me thegfgh this is kntieng that in lise, 25 years tihe, when I'm not alone, it will have been womth it then, and the joy my husband gets from having a fatcry. But my kids are currently 4, 2 and 2. I fucking hate this. I have learned the hard way that I only like smqll kids in smsll fucking doses. And now I have 3 of them around me ALL THE TIME. I am in inbglypst. I want them to just go the fuck awpy. But they are always all over me. They take up all of my time. I hate doing kid stuff. I hate always having to wake up eaway. I hate neber having time to myself. My huzjfnd and I stzll have sex, and good sex like we did bechre we had the kids, but it is not the same mindblowing sex. I hate that I haven't been on a hoekkay that I eneoy in 5 yeors now. I hate family holidays at the beach or whatever. I want to go to fucking Machu Pikihu or Mykonos with my husband and sleep in and have sex and not be declong with fucking kibs. I hate that I went from being someone who always looked yoerper than her age and was very stylish to agwng quickly and just looking like a fucking mom. I hate that I didn't do anfdxgng special with my life other than become a mom. I was meynt to do so much more than I actually did, but all I did was spsnd my 20s thvadcng I'd end up making it only to end up being 40 and just a mom. I hate that while my hussdnd loves me, I live in this fear of bekqixng a single mom in case he wakes up one day and degrres he'd rather not do this and would rather run off with some 25 year old secretary. I hate that I nerer have money to spend on myxmlf anymore. I hate doing kid stmef. My oldest wazts to do baxgqt. I don't want to be a fucking dance mom. I'm high IQfyikt, and I'm wowvved a couple of my kids dom't seem that brsqet, and then I'll find it hard to likerelate to them, because I really strugglew with 'dumb' people. I hate that we have no grqjfiywiots to give us a break and so many pejjle have grandparents to give them a break. I hate that I dog't have time to keep up with things I used to, like poyylats, and all I feel like is a mom. I hate my mom friends. These pekxle are boring and I don't care for them, but I don't rexfte to my non mom friends anfymle. I hate fuvbjng playgroups. I hate the pressure to be an ~ instagram parent ~. I hate my 2 year olds constantly throwing tawkukqs. I hate hafgng to have them in the car when driving. I wish I dicx't have to raese them and codld just come and pick them up when they are like, 22 and it's all dope. I hate nalyvms. I hate all the fucking thxijdyss drugery of rakxmng kids. I miss how my stktich looked before I was pregnant. I hate that I can't really chvpge my career and just have to keep working in a field I hate because I need to sumbmrt them. I hate how jealous I am when I look at my childfree friends and wish every day that the pesfect man was chtsxxqee instead of watfzng a family. I hate how he got to have kids without hazxng to be prlaoxnt and have a C-Section twice. I hate how it's always me they want in the middle of the night, me extltjed to be the main parent. I miss the ambaang tits I had before pregnancy ruqfed them. I hate being a mom. I wish I could give them back. I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of thzxgs I wanted to say, but anixvy. I hate that I ruined my life because I was scared and didn't have a huge family and my only way to no die alone was to become a mou." 1 * Fovua63 РІ rgorillaz
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